Spunkometer, toothache, and dentists

Today I am mostly in pain. I have teeth that although pampered and cared for better than a royal corgi, appear to be made of cheese and have no strength whatsoever, they look good, well spaced well shaped, reasonably white, but develop cavities and toothache at an alarming rate. I have been keeping my dentist fully employed for the last two years. I had the final root canal and tooth rebuild of a course of treatment about a month ago, unfortunately I was treated by a very nervous new trainee dentist, (as we nhs patients are only good for practice)she was very nice but took forever to complete the process with much help from the 'proper' dentist (who only deigns to treat fully paying customers), a week later the newly rebuilt tooth caused three quarters of a bucal filling in its lower jaw opposite number to pop out - as her rebuild was not quite the right shape and a little too large - so now I need a replacement filling, and quite possibly another root canal, as I can't believe there would be this much pain from part of the filling popping out... Grrrr, I am pretty phobic about the dentist and can well do without any extra trips.

Doped up to the gills with Ibuprofen when I log on this morning, my first call is someone wanting to give me their number so they can talk to me in private!! I politely tell him sorry I can't do that, "go on darling get a pen I like you" he says. Ok I say and cut him off as he reaches the 079.. mark, for gods sake what is wrong with some of these men, women don't do this job because they are cock hungry whores, they do it because they can't get out to do a more conventional job and don't want to rely on social service handouts, or are struggling to get out of debt or just trying keep their heads above water, they are mothers, wives, daughters, sometimes have disabilities which prevents them from getting a conventional job, we are actresses of a sort, we enjoy being able to work while giving a good service, we don't want to meet strangers and be their sex slave, if a woman wants casual sex there is no shortage of men to chose from, we would not resort to 'doing' someone we come across in this way! Anyway, rant over.... my next few calls were from nice men who all seemed to be particularly "full of spunk" today, one tells me he hasn't come for a week and has a huge load for me.. I tell him how heavy his balls are in my hand, and how they must be fizzing and aching to unload their hot creamy contents all over my full tits and how I'm going to lick his jizz from my own nipples,... he seems to be enjoying the scenario and when he comes he tells me what a big load it is, I'm very impressed of course he is so pleased to be added to my (imaginary) spunkometer that he stays for another ten minutes while he gets hard again and wanks into my glass tube adding nicely to my ml count for the week :-). I log off an hour later, clutching my jaw and cursing the invention of teeth, why can't we just have beaks!

Sunday lunch, phone pests, mice, overfed kids

I have noticed a growing trend amongst the gentlemen that ring the chat line, it has always been an aspect of the job but seems to be on the increase. Many of the callers want your private number or to give you theirs, often in the assumption that you are a truly horny bitch who is gagging for 24/7 fuck fests with them; these 'boys' I can handle, I mean ME pay (on my phone bill) to call THEM! 1. We are not allowed to exchange personal details, and will be terminated with extreme prejudice if we do. 2. I only do the job for the money, I'm a happily married mother, and not a nymphomaniac who will shag anyone who asks. 3. I don't look much like my online persona, the hair eyes and skin tone are the same, but online girl is a size 12 with pneumatic tits, (unless you are calling my large lady persona) I am not. My online persona will laugh at all your jokes and agree that Benny Hill is the funniest thing since ...well ever, I will and do not... Online girl loves stockings and high heels, I think they are tarty and they make the top of my thighs rub together until they resemble raw liver, you get the picture... these (usually young) men are easily rebuffed with a simple no sorry we are not allowed to do that, and if they continue to pester hang up (with polite prior warning). More difficult to rebuff (although it has to be done) are the men we have a rapport with, and who ring us back time after time, you kind of build a relationship with them, often they started ringing chat lines because they crave the intimacy of a womans voice, and the interaction between two people who get on, and were perhaps ambitious career orientated men who haven't had much time to form long term bonds,or divorced/widowed men who haven't wanted to dip their toes back in the dating pool yet, or have and been burned, or perhaps have health issues that makes it difficult to date. Although I am married and even if I was allowed wouldn't want meet these men it's harder to let them down, I don't like hurting their feelings or shattering the illusion that I truly care for them, and to be honest I do care for them but in a platonic 'I wish I could help them find what they need' sort of way. Some unscrupulous lines advertise as if the girls are unattached and looking to meet up, I was relieved to find when I first came across the problem that the company I work for makes it very clear that it is a paid chat service for entertainment. So if there are any guys out there who use the service and are tempted to try their luck in the hope of free phone sex or more, DON'T, we wont like you for it, and you're chasing a phantasm that doesn't exist.

Working on the chat line does have it's benefits sometimes (other than financial), at certain times of the month during hormonal surges it gets me hornier than a cat with 3 bollocks, you'd be made of stone for some of the things I hear not to turn you on. when I log off my vibrator, or hubby, depending on which comes to hand first gets a real pounding.

Neville the mouse is still happily ensconced behind some wood panelling in the lounge, and seems to have reached a temporary truce with the cats, I leave little treats out for her where the cats can't get at her (or the treats) and they are always gone in the morning. Unfortunately she also seems to like the taste of phone cable, and if I don't unplug and hide it before bed it will have been Nevilled by morning.

Sunday lunch has moved from around oneish, to threeish, as I usually log on for a few hours in the morning to catch my morning glory boys, they are often quick but there are plenty of them. I was lucky to get 3 nice long calls in amongst my grunt and click boys so a reasonable mornings work. A nice simple Sunday roast, chicken with lots of veg and all the trimmings, I couldn't work in the evening after that if I wanted to. The family are strewn around me bloated and sleepy, the scene is dotted with happy cats and the dog in a similar state of bloat, I sigh in contentment as I realise the buggers should leave me alone for a little while, whilst they digest.

Enemas, drugs, and pennies from heaven

I have acquired a new regular, he loves to talk about general anaesthetic. In a previous job I occasionally assisted with administering dental general anaesthetic and he is in hog heaven discussing this in depth with me, he particularly loves me to tell him that some people pee themselves during this process, (I have never actually had this happen). Enemas then become the topic of heated horny conversation, how he loves to use a pump to get a greater amount of warm water up a ladies arse and watch it spurt out of her carrying any contents of her bowel with it, he has from what I have told him, decided that I must have a very big rectum indeed, he could give me so much pleasure from filling my immense colon with litres of warm water, he tells me how women can have such wonderful orgasms through anal manipulation (so not the case - medically or otherwise), he is bless him, 'verging' on the weird. I grit my teeth think of Wales and consider the pennies from heaven building up.

Drugs are good (said in south parks cartmans voice)at least Ceterizine is, and other brands of anti-histamines, my eyeballs have resmebled draculas backside for about 3 days now, thanks to my lovely cats and dog, to which I am pretty allergic. My allergy eyedrops ran out a week ago, but my drugs seem to have taken up the slack so far, yay I don't feel I have half a haystack and a pound of grit embeded in my eyes, maybe, just maybe I'll get a good nights sleep tonight.