Sore throat, furbaby, mice, and masturbation,

This morning I woke up with a gravelly feeling in my throat and a headache threatening. I always log on by eight or eight thirty, so I took a couple of paracetamol for breakfast girded my loins and logged on. My first call was an ex regular I hadn't heard from for a while... "Ooo your voice has gone all Mariella Frostrup", very sexy he said, he was a little disappointed when I told him it was just a sore throat, but I promised to practice it for him once the strep attack had cleared up. He was very sweet as always, but wanted to hear all about my latest foursome with a friend and her partner, - I have never been with a woman in my life ... well ok some very minor booby fiddling with my best friend when we were eleven... nor would I ever want to try it, but my online friend thinks that I have an exciting experimental sex life with various boyfriends and girlfriends. He particularly likes my description of spreading maxines' legs and holding them down a little because her hips buck while I run my moist firm tongue rhythmically over her slick swollen pearl of a clit, this time I was 'doing this' when her partner approached me from behind and started fingering me, when I was good and wet he pushed his swollen silky tip into the entrance of my cunt and then with one long swift thrust was buried deep inside me, my boyfriend had to make do with max giving him the occasional lick, and a wank, while I made her come over my face, and her partner pumped hot thick gouts of his cream inside me. I dread to think of the effect bullshit like this has on the perception of women the male population has. I just hope most of them have the sense to know that we are just telling stories, and that they like the sound or our voice enough, and the interaction to go with it and enjoy the experience for what it is in most cases, horny fiction.

The calls that disturb me the most are the ones that try and introduce incest fantasies, we are not allowed to talk about this as it is illegal, (quite apart from it making me feel sick just thinking of it). Most of them are not suggesting talking about abusing a younger relative thank god, but a lot want to wank into their sisters or mothers knickers, or have their mothers catch them wanking and remain to watch, or stay to 'train' them, that makes my mind boggle and I want to tell them they are sick and to fuck off. However we have to remain polite, and tell them that we cant talk about that but we could 'be' or talk about a sisters friend (over 18) or a friend of their mothers, or older lady in general..... eeeeew!

My last call of the day was with a regular who rings about once a month, he is lovely and wants a furry wank, using fur coats (artificial mostly bless.,) this goes on in various forms for half to a full hour, my imagination is thoroughly stretched, trying to think of different sensual words to describe the feeling of fur on cock, balls and body, again throwing in scenarios where I have used fur with other couples or boyfriends, when he comes he always sounds as if it is a strong and satisfying experience, and thanks me I log off with a smile on my face in the knowledge of a job well done.

My little friend Neville is still alive and kicking, my poor husband is getting worried, as he is convinced Nev is a young rat, judging by the sounds of a mouse rave going on under our floorboards at night. The cats are going crazy, luckily for Neville they are shut in the other part of the house at night (kitchen/dining room, bathroom, or we would get no sleep at all and our toes would be shredded. I leave a little food out for our mousy friend and a bowl of water in the bedroom where the cats hardly ever go, (the door is kept locked all day not because of the cats but to stop our willfully incontinent dog from peeing on the end of the bed). I hate the thought of the little critter starving to death, so he gets a little cereal, some apple, perhaps a bit of carrot... no wonder it sounds like elephant ballet in the cupboards and under the boards. Time to move the traps and try something even more yummy in them I think. What will I do with Nev when and if we catch him, I don't want to throw him out into the cold during the winter... he's become soft living in a heated pad with food on tap, so I might try and get hold of the biggest mouse cage in creation, with lots and lots of mousy toys, and put him up in the penthouse for the winter... if he is a she, which I suspect he is then it might be worth seeing if she would like a female friend for company, (mice are fairly social and girls in particular often like to stick together) "Oh god no" the husband moans, "not again, we have enough pets... and your not ending up with 42 mice like before...no way" I wish there was a way to train cats not to murder small stuff, hubby wouldn't have to worry about turning his home into a menagerie then.